Not Your Every Day Crudite


“Are you sure barefoot is really fine?” Josephina asked for the hundredth time. “When I looked in the mirror they looked like sandals but walking around them they just feel like lace ribbon.”

“They are just lace ribbon,” Kai Said.

“But they’re not supposed to look like it,” Josephina all but wailed. “They’re supposed to look like the trendiest, hippest, coolest “to die for” sandals around and only when you get up close can you see they’re ribbon and you say how clever they are while thinking how classy I am being the one who managed to find them first.”

“What I meant was that they’re the trendiest, hippest. . .”

“Oh never mind. Let’s just find our seats. Thank goodness the table cloth is to the ground. It’ll hide my bipedal faux pas. I think we’re over . . . there in the center of the room. Oh no!” Josephina was shy and constantly worried about what people thought of her, a characteristic she got from a mother who always blamed her for everything and raised her to believe she was never good enough. She hated being the center of attention and would much prefer a table with a strong wall at her back.

“Do you think they’d let us switch. . .” Kai stifled her anxious question with a kiss nibbling her bottom lip. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes.

Before Kai, she’d never been open to public displays of affection. Or anything that might call notice to her. Or anything overly novel in the bedroom or out of it for that matter. Since Kai, though, she’d become much more adventurous and open to new experiences.

“Come on,” Kai said. “Looks like they’ve got some bunny fare out. I’m starved enough I’m even willing to eat that.”

“It’s crudité and hummus,” Josephine corrected good naturedly. “And some other dips.”

“Gesundheit,” Kai said. She gave him a pained smile. He pulled the chair out for her and she sat then arranged the table cloth to fall over her foot wear. Kai seated himself beside her and placed his napkin in his lap. The tables were a moderate size but only held two couples each so there was plenty of room between people, for which Josephina was grateful. Kai leaned towards her.

“Is it just me or are all of the vegetables shaped a little like . . . ” Josephine felt his warm breath on her neck and that was all it took to cause her to heat up elsewhere as well. She glanced at the vegetables, more interested in the sensation that was growing between her legs as Kai traced circles on the hand that was in her lap. He took his hand away and she could think again. Glancing at the vegetables she began to see what Kai was talking about. Miniature cucumbers above pairs of cherry tomatoes, miniature peeled carrots, mini yellow squash and green zucchini, and. . .

“What is that one there?” Josephina whispered to Kai.

“No idea. Well I have some ideas but none related to the name of the vegetable,” he replied causing Josephina to swat his leg.

“Behave,” she whispered.

Leaning back into her, Kai said, “Forgive me if I’m wrong but isn’t crudité supposed to be cut up for you? Or is there some new trend in do it yourself crudité of which I’m unaware?”

Right then their host, the father of the groom came by. He and his wife owned the house where the wedding took place, a ten acre farm with a turn of the century farmhouse they’d modernized. The tent under which Kai and Josephina sat was set out in the harvested field which the family loaned out to local farmers to grow crops on. That way they didn’t have to worry about planting or harvesting, storms or swarming bugs, heat waves or cold spells, lightening or early frosts. They let others worry about all that and gathered a flat fee for land use and a percentage of what came in from the various crops. They were quite affluent. Kai stood and shook hands.

“Kai, and Josephina isn’t it?” Mr. Lacroix said. “Have you tried some of the vegetables? We grow them here in our own garden.”

“We were just talking about them,” Kai said as Josephina blushed furiously hoping their host didn’t notice. “We try to eat healthy, but we don’t recognize some of what you have here.”

Mr. Lacroix laughed. “Yes, well, I can truly say I wouldn’t have recognized some of them myself if my wife hadn’t gotten us into growing them. She insisted that we serve something we grew ourselves for the wedding. It’s a custom where she comes from. Has something to do with fertility, longevity, renewal and the whole Mother Earth thing. Don’t tell her, but it became a real turn on for me. It got to the point when those radishes there started popping out of the ground, well let’s just say they gave me ideas, and until we finally pulled them up and had them stored away, we let the garden languish a bit, other things to do you know.” He winked at Kai and Josephina dropped her gaze to her hands in her lap certain the crimson stealing up her neck and into her face would be bright as a beacon.

“Enjoy, you two. Enjoy. There will be dancing later and I hope to see you out on the tekirdağ escort floor.”

“Absolutely. Josephina loves to dance. Can’t sit still when music is playing,” Kai said as their host smiled and turned to the next table of guests.

Josephina grabbed Kais wrist and jerked him back down into his seat in annoyance. “Why did you have to say that? I’m not going out there and dancing around in my silly little ribbon footwear. I’ll be a laughing stock! I don’t even know how we’ll get out of here without anyone noticing them.”

“Oh, I forgot about those,” Kai said. “You’re right. We’ll have to stay here with your feet carefully hidden until everyone leaves. I wonder how late the caterer’s staff stays to clean up. Oh! But what will we do when they take up the table cloths? We’ll have to make a run for it for sure.”

Though he meant it in jest, Josephina looked like she was at least half considering it. He kissed her gently and added, “Come on Jo. Your shoes are lovely just like the rest of you. With your beauty, no one is going to think to study your footwear.”

Josephina calmed down and smiled at him. “You’re so sweet to me. Even when I get ridiculous with all my anxiety and social worries. I love you.”

“I love you too. Which is why I work so hard to help you explore new horizons, push the envelope, step out of your carefully constructed box, color outside the lines. . . “

“I get it Kai, you can stop with the cliché’s. . . Oh. . .” Kai’s hand had found its way beneath the table cloth and slid down her thigh, grasping under her knees and lifting her feet onto his lap.

“Now let me show you the benefits of you footwear,” he said with a mischievous grin. He arranged the table cloth such that with her sitting slightly further away if she twisted just slightly it appeared as if she was just turned toward him with her feet still on the ground. Josephina loved to have the bottoms of her feet gently rubbed and tickled. Kai knew this and it had become a regular part of their foreplay no matter what else Kai decided he wanted to introduce her to. She wanted nothing more than to lay her head back, close her eyes and give into the feeling, but she had to look at least a bit respectable. Though from Kai’s expression she knew her eyes had gone half lidded misty. Hopefully she’d just look tired, not aroused.

Another couple approached the table and introduced themselves as Albert and Penelope Johnson. Josephina tried to sit up and put her legs down but even as Kai reached over to shake Albert’s hand, he held her legs firm with his other one.

“So what do you do, Kai?” Albert asked.

“Oh, I’m a businessman. Nothing very exciting, I’m afraid,”

“What type of business, if you don’t mind me asking?” Penelope followed up.

“Not at all. Import export, mostly. Of artworks produced in Europe and the Mediterranean,” Kai replied. “We export works by major as well a unknown artists here. Some are sent for major exhibits or to sell at gallery openings, while some are private sales. We also import mostly new and upcoming artists from over there though sometimes we get involved with someone with a name. I’m involved mostly with the logistics, maintaining providence that sort of thing.”

“Oh, how exciting. Have you imported anyone I might have heard of?” Penelope asked.

“Have you heard of Enrique Granados, by chance?” Kai asked.

“The Spanish painter? I love his work! Rumor had it they’d brought in a number of never before seen works of his for an exhibit at the National Gallery. You wouldn’t have had a hand in that would you?”

“Guilty as charged,” Kai said in his most charming drawl.

“Oh my God! Did you get to see them when they were unpacked? What am I saying, if you were involved with providence you would have had to. You did, didn’t you? You got to see them all up close and person didn’t you? Spill!” Penelop gushed bouncing up and down on her chair. Josephina could feel her smile faltering as her patience was wearing thin.

“What a coincidence. Penelope works for a major gallery in Boston, the Newfoundland. Have you heard of it?” Albert asked.

“Sure. It’s actually on our list of new galleries to consider for unknown artists. I’m not exactly sure where it falls in terms of us sending someone to have a first look at it, but I can see when we get home, if you’d like,” Kai said gallantly.

“Oh, that would be fabulous! We have some really super new artists, just super! I know you’d just love them! Everyone who comes in loves at least one of them!” Penelope all but squealed making Josephina wince.

“Why don’t you give me a card and I’ll get in touch once I see what we have on your gallery,” Kai said. They exchanged cards, which Kai managed with a single hand his other never leaving Jo’s feet.

After a few minutes the music began, not yet a dance beat, instead a soft, languid, melody that flowed over her. Kai evidently took this as a cue, for, even as he took a bite of the honey bread roll slathered with an orange marmalade butter with his left hand, his right hand left her feet and began slowly gliding its way up her legs. Thankfully, the Johnsons announced they were going to go mingle, leaving Kai and Josephina alone at the table.

“Delicious bread,” he said calmly though the look in his eyes was wicked. “The butter really makes it though.”

All Josephina could manage was an, “Uh huh,” more breathed than spoken.

“Here,” Kai leaned forward with a sliver of the roll graced with a small mound of butter, putting it to her lips, using the position to let his hand slide further upward, then gently pushing her outside leg off his knees, leaving her legs slightly spread. Her nerves were evidently reacting to something other than bread and butter however since her mouth opened a split second too late, causing the butter to smear her lips and a small dollop to fall and land, as luck would have it, just above and between her breasts. Her eyes widened and where she had been damp she became wet, soaking wet.

“Kai you have to stop or my shoeless state will be the least of my. . . “

He stopped her with a kiss, licking the butter from her lips then returning to the kiss. It was one of the most erotic things she’d ever felt. Blocking her with his body, she felt his finger light upon her chest, briefly swirling the butter which became warm and tingly around on her chest then dipped his finger down her bodice to coat first one nipple then the other in the slightly sticky warm spread. She gasped.

“Kai. . .! Someone will see!” She never got over what he tried, not just tried, did, in public settings as well as got away with.

“It’s all in looking like nothing out of the ordinary is happening, my love. Now steel your eyes and close those lips or when I sit back people will know something is going on,” he said smugly.

“Is?” she all but whimpered.

“Surely you don’t think I’d stop now? I’ve barely begun,” here he leaned in further and whispered in her ear, “And I’m hoping you’ve obeyed me in all things.’

Josephina knew what he referred to and felt as if she’d melt into a boneless, limp heap on the ground. She gathered her wits, refusing to fail in playing along and whispered into his ear, “This dress simply doesn’t work with panty lines.”

Now it was his turn to look aroused.

“And Kai, if you don’t learn to control your expression, when I lean back everyone will know,” she added impishly.

Kai grinned with a pleased look on his face as Josephina did her best to arrange her expression in a semblance of neutrality. She must have succeeded because after appraising the effect, Kai sat back having inched his chair closer.

Suddenly she felt his right hand, which had been so close to the top of the V between her legs disappear. She didn’t know if she should be relieved or distraught. She thought relieved for who knew how far he’d go but what she actually felt was distraught. He seemed amused at her discomfiture.

Then he deliberately took another roll with one hand, used is other to break off a piece and slathered it literally with the marmalade butter. The warm roll heated the butter just enough so a good portion of it dripped into his salad place. While still looking in her eyes he somehow managed to return to the butter dish again adding to the bread and what was on his plate.

“Kai, don’t you think that’s enough butter,” she said a bit haughtily, still not over the removal of his touch just when it was about to get really interesting.

“Why Miss Josephina, I do believe you are in a snit. And over what I might ask?”

“I am not in a snit. I am merely pointing out you are making a mess and a fool over yourself, looking like a teenager with his first hard on. So perhaps, dearest, you should look to your own expression lest you want some here to wonder about whether you may just be a bit of a lech.

“A lech huh?” he asked looking non-plussed. “And a boy with his first hard on? How disappointing. I was going for the big bad wolf,” he added, grinning a truly wicked grin which for a second reminded Josephina of a wolf. “Well, I can’t have people thinking I don’t know how to eat properly so I’d better clean up some of this mess.”

Before Josephina could ask what he meant. His right hand had reach under the table cloth and swept her skirt up to rest on the knee underneath and he’d pushed her outside leg outward exposing her fully. The cool air on her most intimate parts just seemed to fuel her desire more and she knew somehow she was growing wetter by the second. And he hadn’t even touch her yet.

His hand reappeared so fast she doubted anyone could have caught anything even if they were looking. She glanced around to see if anyone might be looking their way but saw everyone was otherwise engaged with their own dining companions. Out of the corner of her eye she caught another quick movement as Kai scooped the large dollop of butter off his plate with two fingers. His hand disappeared again.

She looked a question at him. He looked an answer back at her. He leaned in for a soft kiss using the angle to hid his other hand now also beneath the table cloth. She was going mad with the wonder. Then she felt his fingers spread her open carefully. He looked into her eyes and she felt the warm, slick feel of the creamy butter slide up and down her small nub. It’s all she could do not to throw her thighs wide open, drop her head back, close her eyes and moan for all she was worth. He began to make small circles and as the warm waves built flushing her skin from head to toe, she looked at him with alarm. He couldn’t be meaning to. . .? Everyone would know if he . . . if she. . . Oh, God, that look in his eye said that was exactly what he intended.

Suddenly she felt two fingers slip inside of her. He began to get a little rougher though how he was doing it without moving his whole arm was beyond her. Oh God, he’d reached the level that just crossed the line to pain. He kept it there only now after each thrust he pulled his fingers out to slide back along her nub. Thrust, slide, thrust, slide. She was trying not to pant but had to drop her head and close her eyes or else . . . He pulled her head against his chest and she cuddled into him hiding her face. She was close, so close and he could feel it. He stepped things up just a little more adding slight more edge, a bit more bite to the pain and that did it. She went up, up, up, to hover miles off the ground, knowing he was about to bring her and there was not a thing she could do about it. Not that she wanted to.

“Now, oh now,” she whispered to him and rode the waves up and over and then she was in free fall. She panted against his chest, hand clutching his side, holding on lest she split apart into a million pieces. It went on and on, and just when she thought it had almost finished he picked the pace back up and began to slam his fingers into her whipping them out and up and again and again and she was taken back back up even higher than the first time then given over to free fall all over again. She was certain she was about to scream. Instead she bit into him shirt feeling flesh between her teeth and held on for dear life.

Slowly she came back down to earth breathing heavily, almost crying when he slid his fingers out of her and took one last languid swipe up her now engorged nub. His hand reappeared and her cloudy vision was just clear enough to see him put one finger in his mouth, carefully sucking it while looking at her with hooded eyes. Wiping the rest of his hand on his napkin, he leans over and whispered.


Then Josephine did moan. After another moment of recovery she tried her hardest to sit up and look respectable though she knew that with all the creamy moisture between her legs she was not fully succeeding. Kai kept one of her feet in his lap and went back to rubbing her soul.

“Truly, though I don’t want anyone else to ever have the recipe, what that added to an already delectable butter is simply amazing. Would that we had a room to ourselves I would need nothing else for dinner. But alas, it is not to be this evening. I am allowed but the small sample of that which I’ve already tasted and that shall have to satisfy.”

He was being silly of course and yet. . . yet. . . The responsibility for pushing her over the edge always fell to him. She always let him do as he wished and was a happier woman for it, even sometimes when at first she wasn’t sure or some pain was involved. Yet while she acquiesced she never initiated anything they hadn’t done before. Could she?

He was now looking ahead dreamily, a look she thought she should be wearing and yet that was just like Kai. He received as much pleasure out of knowing he’d pleased her as when he orgasmed himself. He had that look in his eye now; satisfaction, happiness, that touch of bliss of the afterglow when that halo of languidness, of being completely spent hung over you. Darling Kai. He deserved more than what he’d had.

She thought for a moment, certain she couldn’t and even if she could get herself to do it, she’d never pull it off like he had, certain that everyone would notice. It was such a small thing compared to what he had done for her. She knew he’d be shocked then pleased she had initiated. She would do it. She just had to make her mind up, steel her features and act like what she was doing was perfectly ordinary behavior at a wedding dinner. She squeezed his hand for his attention.

“Could I have a piece of bread please, just a small one is fine.”

Thinking it an ordinary request he held the basket for her and smiled the smile of a man in love. She returned it. Waving the piece of bread slightly to ensure his attention, at first he seemed confused, then he raised an eyebrow at her then looked back down at the bread. She lowered it to where the table cloth crossed her stomach, a bit high but then it had needed to be. She moved the hand under the cloth and his eyes widened and went to hers still not certain. She just nodded slightly.

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